At least we can all agree to hate on Filipinos.- Bonogit Hussain, Victim of Racism [Seoul, South Korea]
True dat.- Won Jin [Busan, South Korea]
We've narrowed down the description of the person that racially abused Mr. Hussain to someone with the last name Park, who likes karaoke and kimchee. This eliminates three people in the entire nation.- Park Lee, Police Officer [Seoul, South Korea]
This holiday season, we're offering a buy-one-get-one-free deal on all coffins.- Lee Scott, CEO of Wal-Mart [Bentonville, AR]
This is a shout out to Angela Merkel- mad respect to you. Germany is the one place that has had a more intense East-West feud than Hip-Hop. We got a place for you here at Death Row Records, whenever you finish up with your term as Chancellor of Germany.- Suge Knight, Record Executive [Los Angeles, CA]
Separate the weak from the obsolete, hard to creep them Warsaw streets...We need richer nations to bear a larger burden of the cost of carbon abatement.- Jacek Rostowski, Polish Finance Minister [Warsaw, Poland]
Our research has shown that soy sauce will bring world peace, and end all wars.- Chinese Government spokesperson [Beijing, China]
I knew it was weird how she always wanted to have our family reunions at secret military facilities.- Raul Castro [Havana, Cuba]
Nice. I really hit that nail on the head.- Michael Douglas, Actor [Los Angeles, CA]
Hey, you get what you pay for. I was a real dumbass as a baby.- Albert Einstein [Princeton, NJ]
It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife...- Alanis Morissette [Los Angeles, CA]
Hey, don't worry about it guys. I got in a heated debate with my first mate over which movie was better, 'Happy Gilmore' or 'Billy Madison'. We ended up on the wrong friggin continent and discovered the New World. EPIC WIN!- Christopher Columbus [Genoa, Italy]
'Happy Gilmore' is so much better. I wish you guys had figured that out before f***ing up our lives.- Atahualpa, Incan Emperor [Cuzco, Peru]
It makes me sick to my stomach that I can walk around New York, the cultural capital of our great nation, and not hear Cantonese on the streets.- Lee [Flushing, NY]
Madonna’s one of those really annoying neighbours. You know, the ones who put their Christmas lights up in October, don’t trim their hedges, and dance around the neighborhood in tight leather pants.- Sanjay [London, UK]
I don’t know why all these people are complaining. Madonna has always been kind, welcoming, and considerate when it comes to her home.- Alex Rodriguez [New York, NY]
I don't like being preached to by crackpot anthropologists, while I'm reading the news, on my iPhone, in bed, resting my back from a 24-hour World of Warcraft session.- Rodney [Wichita, KS]
Look, I don't care if these "Neanderthals" are supposed to be dead. Find me one that's alive, and sign him to a 10-year deal. We can't let Adidas take this one!- Mark Parker, CEO of Nike [Portland, OR]
I'm actually working on a sequel to 'The Fugitive', where Harrison Ford's character broadcasts his exact location live on Twitter to Tommy Lee Jones' iPhone.- David Twohy, Co-Writer of 'The Fugitive' film [Los Angeles, CA]
The last time I was President, 8 years ago, I was young and restless, a kid with a dream. I've matured a lot now, and at age 72 I'm ready to try again.- Joseph Estrada, Former Philippine President [Manila, The Philippines]
