Dick Cheney is in fact a demon goblin, so he knows a thing or two about sorcery. I'd listen to what he has to say on this matter.- Fmr. President George W. Bush [Crawford, TX]
I thank the Bush Administration for protecting America's kids from JK Rowling's liberal sorcery. The last thing we need is for kids to start reading, being creative, or appreciating the difference between fact and fiction.- Glenn Beck [New Canaan, CT]
Gov. Palin is one of the few people in politics that truly understands me...she knows the frustration of playing second-fiddle to an old, white dude from the Mountain West region. This book should be a good reed.- Fmr. President George W. Bush [Crawford, TX]
I like this guy, he's a real Cultural Warrior. He shows just as much respect for honest journalism as I do on my show.- Bill O'Reilly [New York, NY]
This is just another example of outsourcing harming our local economy, and stifling innovative spirit. Gone are the golden days when Americans and Brits would hire locally-sourced hitmen to do their dirty work.- Lou Dobbs [Atlanta, GA]
Is it just me, or did our Chancellor become really hot? It's like she's a conservative, middle-aged German version of Kate Hudson. I am so smashed right now, Oktoberfest is crazy!- Hansel [Munich, Germany]
Have you seen the South Park episode making fun of Family Guy? LOL If you have, then you can understand why Venezuela's banning the show.- Kim Jong Il [Pyongyang, North Korea]
You go, Hugo! Personally, I'm thinking of banning 'The View' in my country; I can't stand Elisabeth Hasselbeck anymore.- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad [Tehran, Iran]
I have a weird sense of deja vu.- Hans Blix [Stockholm, Sweden]
I don't know how many times I have to say this, guys. We're NOT building nuclear weapons for war, we're building them for peace. As I launch these nuclear warheads towards Israel, I will personally release a flock of white doves to symbolize peace around the world.- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad [Tehran, Iran]
Biz Stone is smart man. Limiting consumer choice is the best way to make money. We used to call this Soviet capitalism. Customer is always wrong, and the workers united are always right. Additionally, there is great probability that customer is an enemy of state.- Vladimir [Moscow, Russia]
Now that the Civil War is over here, Nepali girls have become such tramps. Can you imagine, I saw one girl try to study science yesterday?- Jairam [Kathmandu, Nepal]
This is why nobody watches soccer in America; there's too much blatant cheating.- Barry Bonds [San Francisco, CA]
Great news. By the way, have you all tried the new Starbucks drink Pretentiouscino? So delicious! It’s made out of 50% decaf coffee, and 50% 2x caffeinated coffee- you get 100% of the caffeine from regular coffee, with 200% unnecessary complication.- Stephen [Philadelphia, PA]
Somebody please buy my new music.- Paul McCartney [London, UK]
Ten years ago, I was a cocaine farmer with an illegal farm. Now, thanks to demand from Starbucks, I’m growing a cash crop that well-to-do young, urban professionals and students value and become chemically addicted to.- Ramon [Bogota, Colombia]
I don’t understand the appeal of 'How I Met Your Mother.' It must be just a show about 5-year olds, right? And don’t you already know the answer after the first episode? No suspense or drama at all. Waste, yaar.- Sunil, India
I was sorely disappointed when 'Top Chef' didn’t win Best Reality-Competition Program. That was by far my favorite show on Animal Planet.- Arnel, Philippines
Doctors are a wonderful thing. Doctors cure sickness and disease. And now, teenage doctors are even hosting the Emmy Awards. And my stupid son is studying finance.- Hafeeza, Pakistan
I was extremely sad to see HBO's polygamy drama 'Big Love' go home without any awards. I really enjoy watching that show with my wives and children.- Yusuf, Saudi Arabia
'Breaking Bad'? Best. Show. Ever.- Jorge, Colombia
What is television?- Syngman, North Korea
Jon Cryer won Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his role on 'Two and a Half Men.' Funny, that also happens to be the description of the ideal Chinese family.- Lee, China
